After starting a relationship, every time we think about someone continuously, our mind remembers facts about that person without any intention. This can happen in every passing second when you get close to another person through attraction. If this process is done for a day or two, if you know that your partner is not suitable for you from the beginning, and if you get the proper understanding and try to change the control of your mind right there, the amount of memory that has to be released will be limited to two days.
If someone carries his or her memories numerous days ahead or tries to build more hopes and dreams in mind, he or she has too much memory to free up in case of an unexpected event, and the pain is too much. This phenomenon takes place in every love relationship.
This kind of situation can happen between two individuals who are in love. Not only that, but also this kind of situation can happen within a person at the crush level. The difference in both cases and the psychological inner process that occurs are the same.
Breakup pain becomes severe due to running too much on the above expectations if someone has no previous experience with a love relationship or does not understand a love relationship properly. For example, a school-aged person lacks understanding associated with this love and feels only satisfaction because of attraction. Such a person lacks a specific idea, mental control, or continuing the relationship in control most of the time. There is no limit to their expectations as they do not have any understanding or experience regarding the impact of this process. Therefore, there are many times when a person of this age has to suffer this pain.
But not only the school age, especially anyone between 18-26, and anyone in any age gap beyond that can feel this pain too much. No matter how experienced they think they are or how many times they have experienced love relationship breakups, the pain and breakdown of another relationship can happen. There is no preparation or plan to control it.
The reason behind this is that in an addiction, the percentage of making decisions based on emotions increases significantly, and the percentage of making decisions based on understanding or the application of reality is lower. That is why it is difficult to bear this moment even for a mature person, no matter how much knowledge or good social level that person possesses.
Now we are going to talk about the most crucial point.
How should you get ready for a problematic situation from the beginning ?
Or else, how should you manage everything in a relationship to reduce the pain of a breakup?
When many people initiate a love affair without doing enough background research about the partner. Sometimes, many people fall in love with someone who intentionally brings many negative consequences in his or her life with the self.
Or after such a relationship, you will have to face unexpected things after some time in a normal relationship. You have become entirely addicted to your relationship when you reach that situation. That addiction means that your mind has been adapted to survive and stay in that relationship even though you know the reality and how much it is toxic, and that relationship can even kill your life.
A person who uses and has addicted to drugs cannot give up drugs when though that person is aware of the reality. Just like that, when you have addicted to a person, you will become unable to live without that person.
After starting a love relationship, do not allow it to invade your mind 100%. Do not associate the day’s work, or the work you enjoy, with those feelings. Keep your everyday life and your relationship as separate as possible. Keep a limited time to talk to him or her.
Try to take care of your partner or travel with him or her only in the dedicated moment. Do not go to the dream world by reminding that person with every work you do throughout the 24 hours. Do not look at the text messages and photos while thinking about him or her every second. If you do so, what you do is that making a massive amount of memories regarding your relationship in your mind.
Do not do it!
Do not be on calls throughout the day. That is an entirely toxic condition.
Remember!
If you are in a healthy relationship, you will never be on phone calls unnecessarily. Such a relationship can be the reason for missing your life & and your personal development. If you end the relationship due to a breakup, the total time you invest in your relationship will be a massive waste. Therefore be sure to keep the relationship within limits, even though you feel 100% sure about your relationship.
Remember!
There is always a moment of uncertainty in any relationship with people.
The level of suffering you will experience in some unexpected situations is very high if you favor mind attachment from the beginning and live in that time and if you train your mind in that way. The reason behind this condition is that your mind can understand reality at the initial stage with control, but later on, a state of automatic recollection of memories begins in the mind when you excessively rely on favor mind attachment.
That is the moment when your mind goes out of your control.
Now, one can think, how can you do this when you are in love? And one can think about how to maintain the relationship systematically, just like we work according to a timetable.
You might think like, love is something that is intertwined with life and emotions
Yeah, that is true!
But if you love yourself and do not like to suffer and regret in the future, and if you have targets and goals to achieve, it is essential to change that thought.
Globally remarkable personalities like rich people, sportsmen, and many others who have reached the top of the world while facing many challenging situations are those who did not depend on someone’s love unnecessarily.
They had dedicated a separate period on behalf of their love relationships. A person cannot succeed in what they do if they mix up the love relationship with the career. That is because unexpected events break those hopes through it and undermine him or herself.
That is because unexpected events that are occurred through it break those aspirations and manage to undermine themselves. You should always have to possess the risk of facing change when dealing with people. When you face that situation, you start to feel how difficult life is even though you did not understand it before. Many things, including your precious life and time, will gradually begin to be destroyed from there. And this thing is not felt until it happens. That is why I am trying to give this understanding for the preparation.
There are healthy love relationships dedicated to the person they love and work for their development. Here, we are focused on many young and old people suffering today due to toxic relationships. When considering the situations of most clients, I see that many people have ended up with devastating relationships than people who have healthy relationships comprised of mutual understanding and mental controlling situations that they lose attraction to the other partner and face problematic situations successfully.
Even if you have a relationship with the best girl or boy in this world, do not let your aspirations and goals drop even a tenth. That is because there is no guarantee that people who change will never be what we want them to be.
That is a risk!
Here, I am not saying to doubt the person you love. But this experience is unexpected for a lifetime.
To maintain a love relationship in a way that minimizes the pain, you should not be overthinking it from the initial stage. This does not mean that you should not love your partner in a way they feel your love. And it does not mean leaving him or her in between.
Get this point right.
Love him or her. Stay close to him or her. No matter how close you are, keep the understanding of this changing nature at the forefront of your mind. If your body does thousands of things, be mindful of all this. Practice giving up things. Do not let your relationship be an obstacle in the way of your progress and your happiness at least a bit.
Stay within the relationship while improving such things in your relationship in small amounts daily. Anyone can minimize the pain caused due to addiction in relationships by practicing this. Your commitment is essential, as anything is not easy to achieve. If you sincerely love someone, minimize the probability of occurring suffering. This is the only possible way in this world. Change the way you think. It is your responsibility to train your mind. It takes some time. This is the guidance for preparing your mind.
There are no shortcuts at all!
It is essential to clear your mind from stressful things like incompatible love relationships to face everything in life with a good and clear mentality. That is why this concept, Relationship & Breakup, impacts a positive mindset. And we should live possessing a correct, pure goal that does not harm anyone.
If your love story is full of sadness and regrets, and if you know that, you are pulling back; definitely, that is a bond that you should have to let go of. If your relationship comprises a proper and strong bond, such a relationship will not leave you with negative experiences for a longer period.
Remember that you will see the reality of life whenever you get rid of the addiction to an unmatching love relationship. Even though a person with suicidal thoughts at this moment, even he or she can understand and follow these things with great interest and be fully healed and recovered. He or she can get rid of the feelings like they lost everything and became unsuccessful. The mind does all these things at some period. Even so, how much of a crime is it if a person makes a wrong decision without thinking about his or her parents, disregarding his or her future, values, and the fact that he or she has more time to live than he has lived?
There are no quick ways to get rid of the pain tomorrow!
If we think about a wound, it also takes some time to heal.
Think for a while!
If you heal yourself with the proper understanding, that feeling of comfort will last a lifetime. The comfort you feel from overly toxic & heartbreaking people with unpredictable mindsets is temporary.
You will experience the same sad situation again & again.
That is the nature of this addiction.
One of the critical reasons behind most of the social problems like suicides, homicides, and drug addiction are related to various situations occurred due to relationships. I am sure you have a great idea about such relationships as we have reached the end of this article.
So, if we carefully control our minds without going into that situation, we can prevent wasting precious lives without suffering in the future.
Offering essential knowledge to society is the key objective of writing this series of articles.
Written by,
Nandimal Edirisooriya