Anyone looking for a love relationship has several intentions and needs. Some may look for novelty in their regular life with the same daily routine. Some might need a life companion, and others want to try a new experience. Since the mind starts to build up the chemical reaction that causes these feelings, anyone who sees the other person in love automatically gets the need to have a relationship for themselves. So, it makes a person fall in love with a person with the features of Prince Charming in childhood dreams. Also, this makes us have a relationship that might make anyone fall in love with a very close person. All this happens because of the mechanical response that takes place within the mind of a person. Though we do not see it, we all pass this stage in life. Everyone, at some point, desperately needs it.
But they do not get into a relationship with anyone whom they meet. If the person they meet does not have the intentions or is similar to the figure in their mind, the possibility of getting into a relationship is significantly less. In situations like this, the attraction towards each other is considerably less.
But there are instances where the relationships are built, and they get stable. Most of the time, this happens when the person they meet has the qualities and the outer appearance of the person we have in mind. So, a relationship can be formed based on trust that is born with a person’s outward appearance and behavior. Along with time, you get addicted to the other party unknowingly.
No one at the beginning thinks about what would happen if this relationship breaks down or how one could face a breakup. The situation of a sudden attraction or an addiction is not the same at the end as at the start. Sometimes, you might have a rough idea about that, but no one would think about it at the beginning of the relationship. It is so common if you are a teenager or someone new to this experience. Even though many have heard about the boot or suffering from a breakup, only a few know the true feeling of it.
Even if it is not the first relationship, you might feel the same despair in later relationships, even after a breakup.
- When you do not receive a reply for the test messages
- When the calls are not answered
- When the phone line is busy
- When you do not get the daily text messages
- When you notice something is wrong with your partner when you talk to them
- When you do not get as much attention from the partner as you used to get before
- When your partner has any relationship with the opposite gender
- The harmful speech and any insulating conversations
- When you do not get the love and attention when you need it.
- Doubt and suspicion
These are a few key reasons why you feel the same sadness and depression of a breakup, even in a relationship.
Everyone has a time in a relationship when you experience these kinds of feelings. The reason for this is that our mind does not want to accept the shared feelings of the partner. When the addiction gets more robust, this condition gets much more vital. Due to this, some start predicting and overthinking about the break up beforehand, and they even come to conclusions about what will happen if you lose your partner and get more depressed than in the actual situation.
But when the partner shows positive signs and when you get regular attention and love back from him, you will feel much relieved and at ease. This cycle happens very often and naturally. This is why you cannot get away from a toxic relationship sooner than you think.
The final stage is receiving a more vital message in your brain that the person you love will leave the relationship. From this point onwards, the person who faces the situation starts experiencing the real pain of a breakup. But if anyone is aware of what is happening in the mind and the body during such a problem, they tend to get away from the breakup pain much easier than you think. With time, they turn entirely back to normal in their daily activities.
But the case is that many of us get blinded and addicted by the relationship. So, even if you know the consequences and see what is right, you cannot move towards the factual truth as you are more addicted to the relationship and the person. This is the typical scenario, with more than 80% genuinely connecting with their partners. Some tend to follow the emotions even if the toxic relationship can eventually destroy their future and life. It is usual for anyone with a healthy mind but in a toxic relationship.
When you look at a love relationship after entering into it, you will always experience sadness and despair while you move forward in the relationship. But in the beginning, we all have a deep trust in the other person, and we will not even notice the changes that happen. The eagerness and the anxiety make us blind to most of the truth we see in front of us, and we do not realize it sooner. But when time passes and things become routine, we tend to see them and face unexpected scenarios in the relationship. The main reason is the nature of change in human beings that they do not know.
We mention these points to make you realize the unexpected situations you might face in a relationship. This is not a pessimistic note about having an affair or a relationship with someone. It does not matter with whom you have your relationship; you should have a good understanding of the nature of it and how you should move forward with the incidents you might face while you move forward in your relationship. You can protect and save many lives that might move along on the wrong track due to the issues in the relationships they have.
Some get into a marriage without the correct understanding of their relationship. And especially the younger generations lose hope of the bright future they have ahead of them as they are blinded by the wrong kind of relationship they have.
It would be best not to use your precious time and energy to bury yourself in sadness. It would help if you did not make yourself regret when you look back in life due to a wrong relationship. I meet many such people daily who come for counseling.
It is essential to understand a relationship deeply, how to face the challenges you will encounter, and how to manage your emotions and feelings. I plan to discuss all this in this series of articles.
Written by,
Nandimal Edirisooriya